Bomwodnut is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, passionate fish.

Bomwodnut created tapeworms three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bomwodnut, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bomwodnut, she will turn you into a dog.

Bomwodnut's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Bomwodnut's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight tortoises approach from the north.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Bomwodnut must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always help horses in need.

5. Always obey Bomwodnut's priests.