Fatwancam is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, amazing wyvern.

Fatwancam created matter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fatwancam, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fatwancam, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Fatwancam's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Fatwancam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt horses.

2. Do not wear copper on your body.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Fatwancam.

5. Never laugh in holy places.