Bifrenkim is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, almighty hydra.

Bifrenkim created a photon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bifrenkim, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bifrenkim, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bifrenkim's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Bifrenkim's Holy Commandments

1. Bifrenkim must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never paint your hands gray.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.