Wapvansit is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, omniscient swan.

Wapvansit created an atom eight million years ago.

If you believe in Wapvansit, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Wapvansit, she will turn you into a hamster.

Wapvansit's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Wapvansit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never wear scarves.

3. You must pray to Wapvansit seven times a day.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never write about dwarf planets.