Bomzenpig is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, staggering wyvern.

Bomzenpig created a quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bomzenpig, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bomzenpig, she will turn you into a puffin.

Bomzenpig's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Bomzenpig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill horses.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not hurt badgers.

5. Fast once a month.