Homlabpad is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, prudent centaur.

Homlabpad created a top quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Homlabpad, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Homlabpad, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Homlabpad's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Homlabpad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. You must pray to Homlabpad six times a day.

5. You must love Homlabpad.