Jabgennadbem is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonest lion.

Jabgennadbem created the universe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jabgennadbem, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Jabgennadbem, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Jabgennadbem's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Jabgennadbem's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never mention squirrels.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Jabgennadbem must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Retreat if four porpoises approach from the west.