Botziglid Ratmifcim is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, almighty crab.

Botziglid Ratmifcim created the planet Jupiter three million years ago.

If you believe in Botziglid Ratmifcim, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Botziglid Ratmifcim, he will torture you forever.

Botziglid Ratmifcim's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Botziglid Ratmifcim's Holy Commandments

1. Botziglid Ratmifcim loves tapirs, so they must be respected.

2. Do not eat melons.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Run away if nine gulls approach from the west.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.