Kopfudnurt is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, unthoughtful dolphin.

Kopfudnurt created bats three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kopfudnurt, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kopfudnurt, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Kopfudnurt's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Kopfudnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five tapirs approach from the east.

2. Always help ducks in need.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never talk about planets.

5. Respect your elders.