Bamteenstrag is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, smart aardvark.

Bamteenstrag created a quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bamteenstrag, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bamteenstrag, it will not invite you to parties.

Bamteenstrag's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Bamteenstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not take Bamteenstrag's name in vain.

3. Do not speak about figs.

4. Do not wear white clothing.

5. Never play with disobedient children.