Tunfidsogsaw is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, ruthless bear.

Tunfidsogsaw created a quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tunfidsogsaw, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tunfidsogsaw, it will think nothing of it.

Tunfidsogsaw's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Tunfidsogsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not hurt pigs.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never feed tomatoes to seals while wearing scarves.

5. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Tunfidsogsaw in the centre of the settlement.