Daphabceb is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, contented hedgehog.

Daphabceb created dark energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Daphabceb, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Daphabceb, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Daphabceb's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Daphabceb's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange porpoises for they are unholy.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not speak about oranges.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not commit murder.