Cipfuncudnar is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, humorless walrus.

Cipfuncudnar created the Sun four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cipfuncudnar, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cipfuncudnar, he will turn you into a goat.

Cipfuncudnar's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Cipfuncudnar's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Put Cipfuncudnar first in all things.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.