Witwapdub is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, clever horse.

Witwapdub created the cosmos three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Witwapdub, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Witwapdub, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Witwapdub's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Witwapdub's Holy Commandments

1. Sharks are not to be trusted.

2. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

3. Never wear trousers.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Do not stand on grass.