Kimmobsas is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, unsympathetic wombat.

Kimmobsas created tapeworms six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimmobsas, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kimmobsas, she will turn you into a plant.

Kimmobsas' most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Kimmobsas' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of cucumbers to swans while wearing violet skirts.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always help sick horses.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always look after injured gulls.