Quimcedhiv is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, ill-tempered wasp.

Quimcedhiv created an up quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimcedhiv, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Quimcedhiv, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Quimcedhiv's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Quimcedhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill grasshopers.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Always help voles.

4. Never think about special relativity near eagles while wearing purple ear rings and balancing three platinum spheres on your legs.

5. Quimcedhiv loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.