Veencumrig is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, temperamental elephant.

Veencumrig created vertebrates two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Veencumrig, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Veencumrig, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Veencumrig's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Veencumrig's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always help squirrels.

4. Do not chant in public.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.