Titsagyak is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, competent horse.

Titsagyak created the Small Magellanic Cloud three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Titsagyak, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Titsagyak, it will ignore you.

Titsagyak's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Titsagyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near doves while wearing gray shorts and balancing five tin spheres on your head.

2. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

3. Never chant in holy places.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.