Talcebcid is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, narcissistic seal.

Talcebcid created parasitic wasps nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Talcebcid, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Talcebcid, he will turn you into a mouse.

Talcebcid's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Talcebcid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt squirrels.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Never look at comets.