Mutkiprulhak is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, unthinking mink.

Mutkiprulhak created the planet Venus nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mutkiprulhak, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Mutkiprulhak, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Mutkiprulhak's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Mutkiprulhak's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Mutkiprulhak in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

4. Retreat if four birds approach from the north.

5. Put Mutkiprulhak first in all things.