Giltailbutnurlpakgig is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, omnipotent wombat.

Giltailbutnurlpakgig created a photon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Giltailbutnurlpakgig, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Giltailbutnurlpakgig, she will turn you into a hamster.

Giltailbutnurlpakgig's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Giltailbutnurlpakgig's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Giltailbutnurlpakgig's priests.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. You must love Giltailbutnurlpakgig.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near porpoises while wearing magenta skirts.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.