Bugwanbeg is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, slow mole.

Bugwanbeg created an atom seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bugwanbeg, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bugwanbeg, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bugwanbeg's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Bugwanbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not keep five ants in a large pit.

3. Never go into pink rooms.

4. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.