Quamcubsitmil is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, confident octopus.

Quamcubsitmil created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quamcubsitmil, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Quamcubsitmil, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quamcubsitmil's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Quamcubsitmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter near porpoises while wearing turquoise corsets.

2. You must never eat turnips.

3. Put Quamcubsitmil first in all things.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quamcubsitmil.

5. Never play with disobedient children.