Ortshavneg is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, egotistical wren.

Ortshavneg created everything that exists six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortshavneg, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ortshavneg, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Ortshavneg's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Ortshavneg's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat aubergines.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near geese while wearing pink kilts.

4. Hide from white swans for they are unholy.

5. Never think about dark matter near foxes while wearing yellow skirts and balancing six silicon spheres on your feet.