Nartgomhad is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, ill-tempered hydra.

Nartgomhad created oxygen four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartgomhad, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nartgomhad, he will turn you into a duck.

Nartgomhad's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Nartgomhad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near swans while wearing magenta shirts and balancing seven platinum spheres on your face.

2. You must love Nartgomhad.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near foxes while wearing blue tights.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.