Bumortmit is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, fast dryad.

Bumortmit created a strange quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Bumortmit, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bumortmit, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Bumortmit's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Bumortmit's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Bumortmit in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Erect three titanium sculptures of Bumortmit on top of important buildings.

5. Do not bounce in public.