Fastitmon is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, staggering hamster.

Fastitmon created energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fastitmon, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fastitmon, he will destroy your home planet.

Fastitmon's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Fastitmon's Holy Commandments

1. Put Fastitmon first in all things.

2. Erect nine aluminium sculptures of Fastitmon on top of important buildings.

3. Do not drink water in black rooms.

4. Do not hurt eagles.

5. Do not shave your hands.