Quatbognel is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, deceitful shrew.

Quatbognel created the Small Magellanic Cloud three million years ago.

If you believe in Quatbognel, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Quatbognel, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Quatbognel's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Quatbognel's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never think about thermodynamics near shrews while wearing red stockings and balancing six titanium spheres on your arms.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.