Volkanjen is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, ill-tempered dragon.

Volkanjen created silver nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Volkanjen, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Volkanjen, it will think nothing of it.

Volkanjen's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Volkanjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always look after injured snakes.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics near rats while wearing red tights and balancing eight carbon spheres on your head.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Always treat porpoises with great respect.