Middanwan is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, generous gerbil.

Middanwan created the planet Earth nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Middanwan, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Middanwan, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Middanwan's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Middanwan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never write about quantum field theory.

5. Always treat voles with great respect.