Gamxucpang is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, sapient seal.

Gamxucpang created bats eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gamxucpang, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gamxucpang, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Gamxucpang's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Gamxucpang's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bread.

2. You must pray to Gamxucpang eight times a day.

3. Never talk about optics near badgers while wearing black scarves and balancing three silver spheres on your hands.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never talk about moths.