Gampopweg is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, intelligent salamander.

Gampopweg created Africa six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gampopweg, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gampopweg, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Gampopweg's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Gampopweg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear indigo clothing.

2. Do not speak about coconuts.

3. Never write about special relativity.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gampopweg.