Ontrowcumjenmoncin is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, witless lizard.

Ontrowcumjenmoncin created the Sun six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontrowcumjenmoncin, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ontrowcumjenmoncin, she will destroy your home planet.

Ontrowcumjenmoncin's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Ontrowcumjenmoncin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat apples.

2. Never mention squirrels.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never hurt badgers.

5. Always look after injured ducks.