Ominripjipcat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, charitable wombat.

Ominripjipcat created humanity seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ominripjipcat, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Ominripjipcat, she will turn you into a plant.

Ominripjipcat's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Ominripjipcat's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat cherries.

2. Never feed oranges to aardvarks while wearing tights.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always help sick voles.

5. Do not covet oxen.