Sidcetmat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, witless pig.

Sidcetmat created dark energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidcetmat, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sidcetmat, it will torture you forever.

Sidcetmat's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Sidcetmat's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three pigs approach from the west.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near cats while wearing yellow shorts.

3. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Sidcetmat.

5. Always treat voles with great respect.