Pitmifparkmipvad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, confident deer.

Pitmifparkmipvad created everything that exists five million years ago.

If you believe in Pitmifparkmipvad, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Pitmifparkmipvad, he will turn you into a plant.

Pitmifparkmipvad's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Pitmifparkmipvad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Pitmifparkmipvad in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not sprint in public.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never feed strawberries to whales while wearing stockings.