Gemhom is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, ruthless zebra.

Gemhom created a photon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemhom, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gemhom, she will not invite you to parties.

Gemhom's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Gemhom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Do not speak about spinach.

3. Always help aardvarks in need.

4. Never feed lots of limes to ducks while wearing pink shoes.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.