Voljanpodpom is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, passionate wasp.

Voljanpodpom created the Milkyway five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Voljanpodpom, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Voljanpodpom, it will turn you into a goat.

Voljanpodpom's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Voljanpodpom's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never think about dark energy near ants while wearing turquoise trousers and balancing nine carbon spheres on your legs.

3. Do not kill doves.

4. Never feed corn to aardvarks while wearing purple rings.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.