Monvagwab is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, thoughtless fairy.

Monvagwab created the Small Magellanic Cloud three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Monvagwab, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Monvagwab, she will turn you into a duck.

Monvagwab's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Monvagwab's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from magenta ants for they are unholy.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never feed aubergines to ducks while wearing dresses.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never run near pigs.