Mobbagwan is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, witless hydra.

Mobbagwan created Africa two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mobbagwan, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mobbagwan, she will jump up and down on your head.

Mobbagwan's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Mobbagwan's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Learn three new languages a year.

5. Always stare at clouds.