Sinlimgam is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, thoughtless spider.

Sinlimgam created a quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Sinlimgam, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sinlimgam, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Sinlimgam's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Sinlimgam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick whales.

2. Never feed strawberries to swans while wearing purple coats.

3. Do not keep three sheep in a large pit.

4. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Sinlimgam in the centre of the settlement.

5. Fast once a month.