Bogcarjonzim is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, witless squid.

Bogcarjonzim created tapeworms seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogcarjonzim, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bogcarjonzim, it will remove you from existence.

Bogcarjonzim's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Bogcarjonzim's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured voles.

2. Never skip near bats.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.