Wattarhud is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, calm human.

Wattarhud created the Milkyway two million years ago.

If you believe in Wattarhud, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wattarhud, it will cry a lot.

Wattarhud's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Wattarhud's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never paint your legs purple.

3. Never wear shirts.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Never talk about dark energy.