Tonkfutjat is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, temperamental alligator.

Tonkfutjat created a strange quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkfutjat, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tonkfutjat, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Tonkfutjat's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Tonkfutjat's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Never leap near aardvarks.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.