Vabzanteen is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, blissful otter.

Vabzanteen created oxygen three million years ago.

If you believe in Vabzanteen, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Vabzanteen, it will turn you into a puffin.

Vabzanteen's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Vabzanteen's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always treat eagles with great respect.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never go into purple rooms.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.