Gilnullontrakmilflaggan is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, sage skunk.

Gilnullontrakmilflaggan created carbon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilnullontrakmilflaggan, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gilnullontrakmilflaggan, he will turn you into a rat.

Gilnullontrakmilflaggan's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Gilnullontrakmilflaggan's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear jumpers.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Do not wear pink clothing.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never hurt snails.