Arnstercimflowdimton is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, humorless whale.

Arnstercimflowdimton created a bottom quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arnstercimflowdimton, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Arnstercimflowdimton, he will torture you forever.

Arnstercimflowdimton's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Arnstercimflowdimton's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed parsnips to turtles while wearing yellow shorts.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Feed all hungry goats.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Arnstercimflowdimton.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.