Zigflaphiv is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, impressive penguin.

Zigflaphiv created the solar system five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zigflaphiv, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Zigflaphiv, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Zigflaphiv's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Zigflaphiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zigflaphiv.

3. Feed all hungry pigs.

4. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

5. Do not wear red clothing.