Lophimgan is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, resourceful jackal.

Lophimgan created Europe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lophimgan, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Lophimgan, she will jump up and down on your head.

Lophimgan's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Lophimgan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not hurt nematodes.

4. Never mention voles.

5. Never feed beans to snails while wearing stockings.