Matcabrow Larglakyarplik is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, staggering duck.

Matcabrow Larglakyarplik created snails four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Matcabrow Larglakyarplik, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Matcabrow Larglakyarplik, she will turn you into a duck.

Matcabrow Larglakyarplik's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Matcabrow Larglakyarplik's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Matcabrow Larglakyarplik.

2. Learn six new languages a year.

3. Always obey Matcabrow Larglakyarplik's priests.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. You must pray to Matcabrow Larglakyarplik eight times a day.
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